RENEE PUSSMAN

SHE'S BACK!!! CELEBRATE!!!

2008-11-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

As many of you may have seen this past Sunday, the worlds ultimate faggot returned to the gridiron. Never once have I seen such faggotry light up as it pranced onto the field.

Now many of you may be thinking, "Geez, that's a little harsh, she still won the game didn't she?"

Who gives a fuck? Just because someone wins a game doesn't make them any less of a faggot. Just look at Steve Young. He won a bunch of games and he is right up there near the top of the list of super faggots.

Anyway. After the victory Renee gleefully jogged back into the locker room and buried her face into the asses of the offensive line, followed by coach Lovie Smiths ass.

Thats why her face was so dirty at the press conference.

After that Renee had her mommy take her out to a very fancy dinner. A passerby got a shot of what Renee was having.

Very fancy indeed!

So it looks as though The Bears are going to have at least another 4 weeks of absolute homosexuality heading up their "offense."

HOORAY!!!

Seriously, Could Pussman Get Any Gayer?

2008-09-22T13:23:00.001-07:00

Proof that Renee Pussman Eats Shit!!!

2008-09-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

I know that many of you didn't believe me when I told you that Renee Pussman eats shit sandwiches, often times open faced. Well to all you naysayers out there...

Take a look at THIS!!!

NOW do you believe me?

Pussman has PRIDE!!!

2008-06-11T14:32:00.000-07:00

It doesn't come as any surprise to anyone that at around this time of year Renee starts to get VERY excited. All across the nation, gay pride is celebrated and the gays come out guns a blazin' to show the world that they are proud to be who they are.

This year, Renee was no different. Since her coming out she has embraced her sexuality and has decided that "If I'm going to be gay, I'm going to be GAY!" She turned out to be one of the Kansas City Pride Festivals leading supporters.

www.kansascitygaypride.org/

The number of people who were in attendance at the pride festival was equal to the entire population of Kansas. No surprise there either.

Pussman started her day with some of her "friends" at the pool before the real festivities started.

This of course was followed by Renee gussying up to show her spirit to the world.

Renee started the march strong and led the pack for about 5 or 10 minutes until she was consumed by the crowd and was ass-pummeled for the remainder of the day.

Way to go Renee!!!

Surprised?

2008-05-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

It comes as no surprise that as the summer season comes upon us, that Renee Would do something like this. Everybody welcome the new Renee Pussman Clothing Company, Summer Line! Renee Pussman has wanted to have her own clothing line for years. Ever since she saw clothing lines being released by stars like J. Lo, Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani, and of course Hillary Duff, she has been pining to get in on some of the action.

"It's not about the money" Pussman insists. "What it's really about is showing the world that I am just as fabulous as any of those other starlets." And with mixed reviews, she will forever be regarded as the only NFL player that has ever released a clothing line that caters exclusively to women.

Pussman says that her favorite item from this summers line is the RP (Renee Pussman) sun dress.

Along side a more casual looking sun dress is a line of blouses and skirts for the hard working business woman. Here are the RP plain white blouse and the RP business skirt. (The shoes pictured here are not from the RP summer line, they are shoes from Renee Pussmans personal collection. She refused to comment on what brand they are. Giving the reason "If I tell you what kind they are then EVERYONE will have them.")

The release party was held in Kansas City, KS at the home of Renee Pussmans mother Maureen. Finger shit sandwiches were served accompanied by chilled Boones Farm and Miller Chills for the gentlemen in attendance.

PROTEST!!!

2008-03-07T15:09:00.000-08:00

I know that it has been a while since I posted last, but I have been overwhelmed with the Renee Pussman news and didn't know where to start.

As I'm sure many of you have heard, Renee Pussman has been re-signed to a one year contract with the Chicago Bears. This may come as a shock to some, but I saw this coming a mile away. The Bears are a second rate organization that pride themselves in keeping an even less than second rate roster.

Most of you would guess that some Chicago fans are less than pleased. There was a gathering of people outside Soldier Field in protest of this remarkably stupid decision.

I know that this may seem extreme to some, but for these die hard Chicago fans, protest is the only option they have. For years they have seen their team plagued by poor coaching and even worse players. My thoughts are when one is stuck being the fan of a second rate organization, one would get used to the poor decisions that organization makes. My message to those fans is...

Either get used to it, or find a new team...

Dumbasses!

A Deeper Look

2008-01-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

Well I'm guessing that since you have seen many of the things that Renee Pussman likes to do with her spare time, you would want to delve deeper into the personal life of the biggest Kansas City Faggot in the world. Now I know that last time I posted a blog, it was a more personal experience. You got to see the kinds of things that Renee eats. What I want to do here is give you a little glimpse of what Renee does outside of work and other extracurricular activities. For example, here is a picture of Renee first thing in the morning brushing her teeth.

I know that a picture of her brushing her teeth isn't all that exciting, but it is a part of her life none-the-less. Here is something that Renee holds very dear to her heart. This is a picture of her very favorite chair. When she isn't out and about, you can find her at home sitting on this chair.

Finally, not many know this, but Renee doesn't like to drive. Not only because she is too small to drive a regular sized car, but because she gets very scared behind the wheel of anything that doesn't look like this...

Because of this, she likes to ride her bike pretty much everywhere she goes. Here is a photo of her bike.

Boy does she LOVE that bike!!!

Renee Pussman Food Log: Entry #1

2008-01-22T09:10:00.000-08:00

Well I have decided to give you a more in depth look at the life of gay heartthrob Renee Pussman. I have decided to let you take a look at what "celebrities" like her eat. When researching this it was difficult to really get the inside scoop on what her everyday meals consist of. But after minutes of searching I finally found what she eats...

SHIT SANDWICH!!!

Open Faced Shit Sandwich!!!

Thats right! Renee Pussman's diet consists almost entirely of shit sandwiches! I then heard from her agent that the only other solid foods she will eat are dick pie and tubesteak smothered in underwear. I have omitted pictures of the two latter food stuffs as there may be children reading this blog.

It was somewhat surprising to discover that those things were her ONLY source of "nutrition" but... well nevermind. It wasn't surprising at all. I have known this for quite some time, I just hadn't told you all yet.

Keep checking in for more Renee Pussman Food Logs!

Kansas City Faggot

2008-01-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

Renee Pussman never fails to prove her faggotude to us. Aside from all the other Fagtastic things that Pussman has been know to do, she has proven herself yet again, that she is the gayest person on planet Earth. First of all, she has decided to get some ink done. Here are the two tattoos that she got last weekend at Voodoo Tattoo in Kansas City, KS.

This tattoo depicts Renee's favorite animal. It has her name and her best girlfriend Shannon's name so that Pussman will always know who her "BFF" is. It is located on her lower leg.

This tattoo is of a mythical creature that is frequently in Renee's dreams. The majestic "Butterfly Pony" as Pussman calls it.

Renee has also released her own brand of perfume. It is officially called Eu de Faggot. She simple calls it, "Faggot." Some have said that it smells like a highway rest stop. Others have said that it smells like Liberace's ass hole. All I know, is that I hope I am never within even a 100 mile radius of this perfume.

What a Kansas City Faggot!!!

Are You Kidding Me?

2008-01-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

Well it seems as though Renee Has really thrown himself out there for the public to see him in his flaming homosexual glory. Here is Renee and some black guy with cum on their faces. That's a little risque don't you think? I sincerely hope that no one paid him for this "ad." Why would you pay someone to do what they do for free on an hourly basis? Either way it makes me sick.

On a side note, Renee Pussman was VERY upset when they first ran this "ad." She said "I wanted it to say 'Sunday, they both go down,' now nobody will know what it means."

Don't worry Renee, I think people get it.

Down Time

2007-12-12T12:31:00.000-08:00

I usually feel bad for professional athletes when they have a season ending injury. It makes me feel bad because they have to unwillingly stop playing the game that they love and just sit on the sidelines and watch their teammates play without them.

This was not the case for Renee Pussman. When she got injured she immediately left the game and began to pack her bags. When she was all packed she got on the first flight back to Kansas City. When she arrived she went to her mommy's house where a fresh batch of gingersnap cookies and a tall glass of milk were waiting for her.

"It's nice to have a little time to myself," Pussman said in a phone interview. "Now I get to do things during the holiday season that I don't normally get to do. "My mom even took me to the mall and I got to meet Santa!"

She may be having a good bit of downtime now, but Pussman's contract is up at the end of this season. She has expressed a desire to return to the Bears next season but it is uncertain if the feeling is mutual. One thing is for sure. The whole team sure would miss the full body massages that Pussman gives... With her mouth.

Renee Pussman Is More Famous Than I Thought!!

2007-12-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows that feeling when you see someone and you think to yourself, "I know I've seen that person somewhere before." And almost everytime it happens you never really figure it out at least for a couple hours or meybe even until you see something else that reminds you of where you have seen that person.

I had always looked at Renee Pussman and thought, "man that douche bag looks familiar, I wonder if he was in a tampon commercial or something." But I could never really put my finger on it...

Until I saw this.

I KNEW she looked familiar. It turns out that Renee Pussman was cast as an oompa loompa in the show Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was actually the smallest one! It turns out that Pussman was discovered for this role while she was trying on clothing at the Baby Gap. Some claim that shw was discovered at Gymboree but that story is false. She was approached and asked to be a part of the film. She immediately said yes and the rest is history.

It really makes you think. Imagine all the people who got their start like this! You might first think "Ohhhh, all the oompa loompas were juat a bunch of little people that they got through a talent agency or something." But little did you know that one of those oompa loompas was actually the biggest faggot in the history of the world.

Motivational Posters

2007-12-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

It is nice to see that some one in the position of Renee Pussman can take their failures and really turn things around to make them work in their favor. Renee Pussman has recently lent herself to be used in a new brand of motivational poster. Pussman was supposed to receive one cent for each poster sold. So far she has made three cents. All purchased by Devin Hester and Bernard Berrian.

Here are a few examples of the posters.

What a Faggot!

NO WAY!!!

2007-11-30T13:29:00.001-08:00

It seems strange to see Renee have a few games where she doesn't play like an absolute pussy. Although, thats exactly what she is.
Over the past two or three weeks there has been a huge amount of press coverage around Pussman asking her about how it feels for her to come back. But one reporter got more than he bargained for. At a press conference, a reporter who asked to remain nameless, asked Pussman, "How does it feel to finally start coming out of your shell this season?" As soon as little Renee heard this she became a nervous wreck. She began to sweat and convulse while saying, "What? What? Coming out!? Who told you that?" Then went into a violent rage. And by violent rage I of course mean shreeking, pulling hair, and saying "You bitch! YOU BITCH!!!"

As flabbergasted as everyone was, they couldn't help but harbor a deep feeling of pity. Two days later, Pussman sent out a video press release apologizing for being "so nasty." Near the end of the video Pussman put her head in her hands and said, "Fine! You all guessed it. I'm gay." She then began to weep.

Thats right everybody!!! Renee Pussman has OFFICIALLY come out!!!

Not that we all didn't know this already. But this is the very first time the NFL has caught wind of it. When asked, NFL officials said things like, "Well, I'm not really surprised, I mean, if we would have just thought about it... it makes perfect sense, why else would she insist that she wash the rest of her teammates in the shower? And with her mouth none the less."

Nothing has been heard about what the NFL plans to do. Some say fire her. Others say that she must be so strong to have hid it this whole time. One thing is for sure. No other team is going to want to play against the Bears now. "Our theathon ith ruinedth" Pussman said. "I with I wath thead."

As of right now, Pussman has been allowed to practice with the team as normal. But what will happen in the long run is still yet to be seen.

On a side note, Pussman has requested that the logo on his uniform and helmet be "a symbol of his struggle." The league has not commented.

THE RETURN!!!

2007-11-12T08:58:00.000-08:00

We need to give congratulations to Renee Pussman. One would assume that congratulations would be in order for her return to the field this past Sunday. This is not the case. We are congratulating her on...

HER PREGNANCY!!!

That's right! Renee Pussman has announced the big news in a news release Monday morning. "I feel that I should let the world know," Pussman said. "But even though I'm pregnant, I just want to play football." This has cause quite a bit of controversy between Pussman and the rest of the NFL. When she first told Lovie Smith about her "condition," she was told she could not play. This of course infuriated Pussman and after much internet research Pussman discovered the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act is an amendment to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Discrimination on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth or related medical conditions constitutes unlawful sex discrimination under Title VII. Women affected by pregnancy or related conditions must be treated in the same manner as other applicants or employees with similar abilities or limitations.

Pussman's husband Toni-Lynn Homo-Pussman is so excited and has been nothing but supportive this whole time. "I'm just so happy to be a part of her life," Homo said. I have no doubt that she will bring me the perfect feminine child that I've always wanted and aspired to be."

Unfortunately not all people feel the same way. Many people are outraged that a pregnant woman would be allowed to play a sport as violent as football. They say that is is too dangerous for the woman and the fetus alike. Where this may or may not be true, Pussman found the loophole and isn't going anywhere.

So is she allowed to practice with the rest of the team in her condition? The answer to that is, "sort of." Since Pussman has played football, her "practices" consist of nothing more than eating ice cream and doing yoga. Here is a picture of her taken Sunday before the game.

"I'm just gonna try and do my best like I always do." Pussman said. "I think that this will really help my game and will put the Bears back on top."

Baby names have not yet been discussed but the happy couple are open to suggestions. If you want to give them your ideas, post them in the comments section.

Pussman and Her Play Dates

2007-11-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

Ever since she was benched a few weeks ago, Renee Pussman has had some difficulty filling up her days. She tried F=figure skating and is currently racing dogs in Kansas City, Kansas. When she isn't racing, she has nothing to do. All she does is sit around her house and weep. She actually had to have her wood floors redone because her faggot tears warped the wood.

Renee is lucky to have such a caring coach in Love Smith. He has been setting her up with play dates. Here is a picture of Pussman hanging out with some of her gay friends Stephen and Geoffrey.

Lovie has been trying to keep Pussman spirits high because he thinks that she will play again this season. As doubtful as that seems, it is still a possibility. Especially when Pussman gets depressed when her play dates stand her up.

Although Pussman has been quite upset and downtrodden over the past few weeks, she seems to keep herself busy playing by herself on the playground. Maybe her fan club which mainly consists of faggots and women can rally together and boost her spirits. I just doubt that anybodys spirits could be lifted by a bunch of faggots. I guess we'll see.

Pussmans New Sport

2007-10-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's quite interesting seeing the kinds of things that people resort to when they are faced with a crisis situation. For the past few weeks Renee Pussman has been faced with one of these situations. After being benched, Pussman has been hard up for money and has been without anything to do. Well, don't worry about Renee because she has a newfound sport that will make her pocketbook just a little bit thicker. Renee Pussman has entered the world of professional dog racing. You might be thinking of a long oval track with greyhounds chasing a robotic rabbit, but this is not the case. I give you the first pictures ever taken of Renee Pussman and her thoroughbred "running puppy" (as Pussman so affectionately calls her), named Glitter.

This picture is Pussman riding Glitter in an indoor practice track.

This is a picture of Pussman riding Glitter in competition at the "Kansas City Downs" in Kansas City, KS. Pussman finished dead last but still took home a whopping $20 in prize money. This prize money almost doubled her salary in the NFL.

It is clear that Pussman is taking being benched in stride and "getting back on the dog" continuing her professional sports career. She is undoubtedly living a very comfortable life considering the kind of prize money she is making from racing Glitter. I think everyone agrees that if Pussman continues doing what she is doing, and participating in all these competitive sports, she will soon be known as one of the most recognized fluffletes on the planet.

A Modern Marvel

2007-10-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

In today's world, with the thousands and thousands of advances being made in the field of science, it seems improbable that the men and women who work so hard would let some things slip. I don't mean things like splitting the atom and stem cell research. I am talking about things that they never thought could happen. With the amount of time, money and effort being put into the scientific fields you would think that they would leave "no stone unturned." This is not the case. Let me present to you, the most amazing anomaly the scientific community has ever witnessed.

This picture may seem unremarkable at first, but until you know the back story to it, there would be no reason for you to find it as amazing as it is. This is in fact, a picture of Renee Pussman as an infant. Thats right! Renee Pussman is the only child ever conceived by two gay men! When this discovery was made, it shook the scientific community to the core. How could it be that two men could have gay sex with each other and make Renee Pussman? Scientists are still baffled. "There must be something special in all those Kansas City faggots," said a geneticist that requested he remain anonymous.

After the discovery, many people wanted to share this story with the rest of the world. Especially filmmakers in Hollywood. "Three Men and a Baby" was the first, followed by its sequel "Three Men and a Little Lady." These two films are the most reputable and of course don't follow Pussman's life exactly, but you can see the similarities.

Apparently shortly after her birth, Renee's birth parents Todd and Stephen separated. Renee stayed with Todd and he shortly thereafter married a woman to make Renee's life easier. Renee has been and remains to be a huge supporter of gay rights. Renee also stays in close connection with her fathers who both live in Kansas City.

Pussmans New Trade

2007-10-16T14:55:00.001-07:00

I found out what Pussman has been doing during the week ever since he has been benched! She has been touring all the ice skating rinks in Kansas City. This photo was taken last Thursday at the AMF IOC Chateau skating rink in Kansas City, KS. There have been rumors circulating around the KS skating community that are hinting at Pussman retiring and taking up a professional skating career. Pussmans agent said that these rumors are false and that she plans on playing football for many more years. Unfortunately for Pussman, she sucks WAY too bad continue playing. Regardless of whether or not these rumors are true there is no denying that she would make a great figure skater.

At least she is keeping herself active!

Finally An Explanation...

2007-10-16T14:42:00.001-07:00

So I was sitting at my desk today thinking. What was I thinking about you ask? Renee Pussman is what I was thinking about. I was wondering, "why does he suck so bad?" I mean seriously, you have to have had some sort of experience in your life that would make you THAT bad at football. After some researching I discovered this...

Thats right. Pussman was enrolled in ballet classes at a very young age. It was his dream and his passion for almost 15 years. This must be the reason that he is so "girly" on the football field. Have you ever seen a girl throw? Well if you have seen Renee Pussman throw you pretty much have. Pussman can literally throw the football a whopping five yards!!! (His personal best) I delved a little deeper and found this...

Pussman was offered a full ride scholarship to the Juilliard School; A very prestigious performing arts school. After about a year at Juilliard, Pussman a life altering decision. Pussman decided that she wanted to have a surgery that would add penis in place of her vagina. Three long operations and many many months of physical therapy, Pussman was back on her feet. Much to her chagrin, the penis surgery made it impossible for her to do the splits and shortly thereafter, quit ballet for good.

Now that she had a penis, Pussman said that she wanted to start doing guy things. She enrolled at the University of Florida and went to walk-on tryouts for the football team. After the week long tryouts, Pussman had the starting position at Quarterback!!!

How she got drafted to the Bears is beyond me. Pussman is the worst and she should have stuck to ballet. Here is a picture of her at practice.

Pussman insists on wearing this to every practice. was initially told no by coach Lovie Smith but after an hour long tantrum, Smith finally gave in. I guess it's nice to see that Pussman hasn't completely left her ballet roots in the past.

A Wedding to Remember!!!

2007-10-16T14:41:00.001-07:00

I want to write this blog because congratulations are in order. Following each of their teams wins this week, Toni-Lynn Homo and Renee Pussman were married In Kansas City, Kansas Tuesday. Members of both teams have expressed how happy they are that the two finally wed. "They have been dating for years, it's about time" said Chicago coach Lovie Smith. Dallas Cowboys former coach Bill Parcells was in attendance and was overheard saying "There is nothing more beautiful than a couple of Kansas City faggots getting married."

There were over 50 people in attendance and the wedding party almost completely spanned the state of Kansas. Gumdrops and pudding were served along side some very expensive bottles of Bartles and Jaymes.

Renee Pussman & Toni-Lynn Homo-Pussman

RENEE PUSSMAN

2007-10-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

Renee Pussman is the worst quarterback in the history of the NFL. It makes me sick that the NFL would allow a woman to play in the league. I also can't believe that the Bears would allow it. I thought the Bears were supposed to be a cool team, you know, with players like The Fridge and Coach Ditka. Not a team full of faggots.

If Renee Pussman doesn't hurry up and retire, the NFL will be doomed. All the women and faggots in the world would think that THEY can play football too.

Just in case you didn't know, Renee Pussman is also the smallest player in the league. Here is a picture so you know what she looks like. This photo was taken last week after a press conference. The thumb she is grabbing on to is that of the teams kicker, Robbie Gould.

I think you would all be surprised to see what Pussman looks like when she is sitting on the sidelines. Pussman does nothing but weep the entire game. The team needs to keep a big bucket underneath her head so her faggot tears don't kill the grass. It is also a little known fact that her "mommy" as she calls her, has to carry her everywhere she goes. Here is a picture of renee and her "mommy" after the September 30, 2007 loss to the Detroit Lions.

The NFL has done its best to keep these facts under wraps for the past few years but they can't be kept secret anymore. Football fans deserve to know what kind of people the NFL are letting play these days. By the way here are a few more pictures of Pussman and her lifestyle.

Here is a picture of Brian Griese trying to talk on Pussmans cell phone...

This is the syringe that the team doctor uses to give pussman her estrogen shots...

These are the cards that Pussman plays with after the games in the locker rooms. Her teammates have expressed their displeasement with having to play with such small cards.

And finally, this is Brian Ulracher opening the door to Pussmans house.

I urge all of you to send letters and emails to the League Commissioner and let him know that players like Pussman should NOT be allowed to play.